God's favor

I cried yesterday.  A lot.  It started on the drive to church.  I just started and I don't know why.  Well, that's not true exactly.  I was missing...a lot things.  Missing family, friends...missing the "familiar."  I pulled myself together enough to get my make up on and all.  And then it hit me.  Again.  During Bible study.  In front of people who don't really know me yet.  But, it happened...and the tears came....Again.  And they continued right on through the first half of the worship service.  At first they were tears of grief, loneliness, but at the end they were tears of well, being loved and shown favor. 
See, this past week has been a struggle.  I want, well, more than I have.  Along the way the past month or so I've wanted God to show me His favor...and I knew HOW I wanted Him to show me.  (As if He owes me anything!)  And perhaps I can be totally honest and admit the jealousy of wanting what He's blessed others with (gasp!).  That was the problem.  I want God's favor, but it is His to give me, not as I demand.  So, I've struggled with these thoughts all week.  Asking and wanting God's favor, but it seemed SO far from me....but why?
It was in Bible study that God's word spoke right to my heart.  The words could have been audible to me it was SO clear.  We are in our final week of study on the prodigal son etc. in Luke 15.  And, final as in FINALLY.  Anyway, I relate to the older son (a lot).  The one who threw what I like to call a hissy fit because his brother came back and his father threw him the party, etc.  Someone in our class said they didn't understand how this parable had anything to do with the older son, and I thought I'd share how much I felt like the older son.  I was reading over the scripture though and these words hit me.  The father (representing God) said to his older son, "Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours."  And of course, the tears flowed as I tried to share what God was speaking to me.  I don't know what the class heard, but I KNOW I experienced a Word from my Father at that moment. 
God has shown me His favor.  He is my favor.  I am always with Him!  His presence, love.  The God of the universe, who created all things, speaks to ME.  That's huge!  "His divine power has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness...." (2Peter 1:3)  He has called me out and in a sense, singled me out, to be one of His. 

I want a lot...but I want God more.

...as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.       1 Thess. 2:1-12

kids comments

Random comments and conversations with the boys are always fun. 

Ethan:  Mom, I think I know what I want to do when I grow up.
Me:  What's that?
Ethan:  Join the Navy.
Me:  Why is that?  (Inwardly thinking...NOOOOOO!!!)
Ethan:  Well, I know it's probably dangerous, but I like to dodge things and in the Navy they do a lot of dodging.
Me:  Yes, it can be dangerous.  Do you know that the Navy helps protect our country and goes to war?
Ethan:  Yes, but I'm really good at running and dodging.  You know like dodging around tanks and mines.
Okay?

Then Josiah walked by me this afternoon and said, "Mom, I have to go potty, so I'll see you later."  Okay....thanks for that info.  :>)

Photos of the last few weeks

After a trip to the library things are pretty quiet.

I'm so glad my boys love to read!

I love how different their hair is...one curly and the other straight...

Such sweet brothers!  They are getting so big!

Ethan ready with his snowball...he and Casey were having fun.

And they said it never snows in Texas!  But, here it is...again!

Josiah's mini snowman

Snow angel...he can barely squeeze into his snow pants this year.

Our dinner tonight - Barbecue Chicken Salad (chicken breast, black beans, avocado, corn and bacon over greens).  Yummy!

Stewardship

Last night I got really excited, even if it was just a momentary thing.  You see, my cell phone was acting really strange last night.  The screen was flickering and it was just doing weird things.  My first thought was, "yes! I can get a new phone!"  Sadly, after turning it off and then back on again, it was back to normal.  You see, my cell phone is ancient...it was old when I got it (almost 4 years ago!), and it's so outdated...BUT, it works.  It's not fancy, but I can text (barely) and make calls.  Here's the thing, I REALLY want the new flashy stuff the EVERYONE else has, but when I examine my motives (to be like everyone else and be "cool") I can't justify it...at all!

Here's another confession, I know we will be getting a little chunk of money when we file our taxes so what have I been doing?  Daydreaming about what to spend it on!  Maybe a kindle (or a nook - I'm not picky!), a lap top (because I might go back to school), a wii (for the boys, of course), ipad (to be cool, of course), and on and on it goes.

Here's the stewardship part (as I see it).  Every time I say "yes" to something I am saying "no" to something else.  So, do we want to live within our means, happily debt free or live to the very edge of our budget and always be struggling.  So, I say "no" (today anyway) to a fancy phone that will cost me WAY more in monthly charges.  Maybe with what I'm not spending on the phone we can do something fun as a family, like a movie or dinner out or baseball game.   Maybe we say "no" to an ipad (I was dreaming anyway) and instead have a weekend getaway.  Now, I'm NOT saying that any of those things fancy things are "bad."  Focusing on stuff though (like I think I've been lately) is NEVER good!   I sometimes wonder if we (as a church and society) lived more simply we'd have a lot more we could use to bless others. 

  Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.   

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

It's COLD!!!

Saturday was 76 degrees...Sunday about 65...Monday dropped to the 50's and then it happened.  Late Monday night a big storm came through.  First there was thunder and lightning (I almost came up out of bed when the thunder clapped over us...it was LOUD!) and of course the wind then the rain...lots of it.  By Tuesday morning the freeze came and all that rain turned to freezing rain and ice.  Then a nice layer of snow on top of the ice, just to make things interesting.  Kids were out, but not mine!  Brrrrrr!!!!  Today it is still freezing, well, below freezing.  I think the high today is going to be 20 degrees...wow!  Thankfully we have heat and hot water and all our pipes are good so far. 

One door...it's not pretty, but sometimes pretty doesn't get the job done!

What this picture DOESN'T show is all the light and air coming through. 

This is what our other door looks like...frost on the inside!