It's 9:45 pm and I just got my kids into bed. Long day, longer night, but so worth it. Josiah went to bed in tears, something to do with toothpaste, but I told him everything would be fine in the morning. Two hours past bedtime and he is done in!
Anyway, the boys and I headed up to the church tonight for an evangelistic "event." The preacher is good. He went on a little about how people in the "buckle of the Bible belt" go to church for 10,000 reasons and none of them have to do with hearing from God. A few other comments too, but I did manage to refrain my "amens" and "that's right" to myself. I've mentioned this to Casey a few times, but I feel so out of place at church. Not sure if it's a "southern" thing or what. But, if God speaks, heaven help me if I don't respond to Him! Especially if I sense something during my quiet time and only kind of respond and then hear it again (a little louder) the very same night. Well, let's just say, I've learned that it is better to obey right away. (Isn't that what I always tell my kids too?) Half the time at the response (altar) time I'm expecting the whole body to be down front, and I look around and see only a handful.... I know, everyone "responds" to God in their own way, but I kinda think that as a believer if you can't respond publicly IN CHURCH, then you aren't going to be responding much outside either. I had this thought tonight and laughed a little to myself, but I wonder if people think I'm getting saved every time I go forward. Sometimes I get kind of weird looks, but that could just be me too. :>) I just want more of God. I'm not satisfied to just "go to church." I want and need Him too desperately to take Him casually.
So anyway, after the service was over I sat and talked a little with Ethan. We probably sat there for 10 minutes or so and I shared with him what God showed me and he shared with me some thoughts and prayers he thought of too during the message. It blessed me like nothing else to hear my son sharing about God with me! It was huge for me. Thank you God for that time with Ethan! We ended our time by praying for Josiah to respond to God too. It was a very sweet time. I am truly blessed.
Loved your post...thanks so much for sharing it. :)
ReplyDeleteWOW! This could have been taken from my mind, Cathy! I literally feel pressure on my body to go forward at the altar call. I, too, feel out of place at church a lot of times, but it is not a "southern" thing with me because I am a native Texan. I am not sure what it is...but, I know the times we do respond to God's prompting (which, sadly, I have not done every time...), I have worried that there are people who are thinking, "Boy, she goes up there every time, must be for show..." It does not really matter what other people think, as it is between me and God, but it contributes to that whole thing about feeling out of place at church. I am so glad to have stumbled upon your blog - it has been good to read! Thanks for sharing your heart! :)
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