Confessions of a cranky pants

I haven't blogged in awhile.  There is a reason, but I wasn't sure I wanted to share it.  But, here it goes...I have been super CRANKY!  Ask anyone who has lived with me for the past couple of weeks, and they will agree, wholeheartedly! After one weekend home from our Washington trip we started school.  The first few days were rough, but we are getting into it now.  On the 2nd night, since we started school, Josiah woke up with that awful croupy cough.  It scares him and he panicked, which does not help the coughing any at all.  Of course, Casey was working this night too, so I was home alone (and with a neighbor) for the worst part of it.  So, that started the cold which Josiah so kindly shared with me and Ethan within the next couple of days.  We made it through the first full week home only to be greeted by a cold the following weekend.

Now, this past weekend we actually had quite a few plans, and we didn't get to do any of them because we were sick!  So frustrating for me.  Well, it turned out that Casey would be taking a week of vacation this week, so he basically worked ALL 20 hours over that last weekend anyway.   So, I'm sick, the boys are sick, and my husband was gone...for days.  Not exactly what I had planned.

So, that's my excuse....  Well, at least part of it.  For some reason I've been really anxious about our finances too lately.  It's all a trust issue of course, but I feel the extra added pressures to fit in and be like everyone else.  I hate to say no to eating out with friends because we really need the fellowship.  However, if we do that than there is the guilt of spending more than we have.  I had a minor (well, Casey might say it was major) melt down last night over spending $60 on groceries.  If I'd had the time, energy, etc. I could have planned better, organized my coupons and not spent so much.  However, the reality of the situation is that it is not so much when I remember that I'm feeding a FAMILY OF FOUR!  (The caps are me yelling at myself.) Anyway, that's me being cranky for the last week.

Note to self:  you can't do everything, stop beating yourself up, people won't understand your circumstances but there's nothing to be done about that, do what you can, remember that God has called you to homeschool, remember that God has called Casey to seminary, God never promised that following Him would be easy, eating junk will not make it better, smile more often, take a deep breath and slowly exhale...ahhh.  That's better.